One day when I was at the airport, I saw someone who looked like my coworker Greg, who was supposed to be leaving for a vacation to Hawaii that day. I wasn’t quite sure it was Greg, though, so I …
Ah, Valentine’s Day. That special day of the year when couples across America contribute massively to the country’s GDP by buying wine, chocolate, cards, flowers, and butt plugs… but what about those of us who don’t have a significant other …
I live in a city filled with passive-aggressive people, so I deal with passive-aggression on a regular basis. When I first moved here, I found it difficult to believe that so much passive aggression could fit into a single city. …
At the beginning of this year, a dear friend of mine left his job for personal reasons and is currently unemployed. This got me thinking: What will my good friend’s next career move be? But more importantly, how can I …
All good things must come to an end, and relationships are no different. The most annoying among you readers will say, “But some people get married and stay married forever because they are happy together,” but you are wrong. Everyone …
Whether it’s a coworker you’ve known for several years or some rando you met through a sleazy dating app, first dates can be both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. There are hundreds and hundreds of websites that provide …
Imagine this scenario: You’re the “social media expert*” at your company. Your manager has tasked you with writing an article about how to scoop various fruits out of your butthole, but you have been slamming shots of 190 proof vodka …
There are many, many great arguments for giving up meat and becoming a vegetarian. For example, eating more vegetables is good for you, is better for the environment, and prevents murdering animals for their meat. Actually, those are the only …
If you’re like me, you have trouble deciding on things. That includes everything including what to wear for the day, what to eat for breakfast, which hand to hold your fork with, and how many times to poke your cat’s …
Ah, fruits. We’ve all encountered them at one point or another in our lives, especially in San Francisco. I can’t think of anything else to write for the intro, so here are the 5 worst fruits in no particular order: …
