I’ve had a number of people come to me and ask what they should do in certain relationship-related situations. Their problems range from serious to downright silly, but I always give the best advice I can offer without feigning interest and then saying whatever pops into my head first to get them off my damn back.
For today’s post, I’ve decided to share some of the advice I’ve given to others. Hopefully, it will be useful to you and your significant other in some way.
Hi Life Is Too Hard,
I’ve been with my boyfriend Marc for a little over 4 months now, but he has this really weird habit: He takes photocopies of the condoms we use every time we have sex. He keeps the photocopies in a red folder labeled “soon” in his filing cabinet, which he keeps locked up in his mom’s basement. Is this normal behavior? Should I be worried?
–Jennie, 24 years old
Hi Jennie,
I flipped a coin and got heads, so you’re fine.
Heh heh… “got heads”
–Life Is Too Hard
Hi Life Is Too Hard,
My wife Monica and I have our 3rd anniversary together in a week, and I haven’t gotten her any gifts! She really likes to snowboard and I’m thinking of getting her a new snowboard since she’s had her current one for over 10 years now. Do you think that would be a good idea? Also, do you have any useful tips to prevent me from forgetting my anniversary with my wife in the future?
–Jack, 54 years old
Hi Jack,
Your wife’s name is Monica? Yikes, sounds like a huge red flag to me. You should dump her pronto. Get yourself out of that toxic relationship before it’s too late!
–Life Is Too Hard
Hi Life is Too Hard,
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years now and I’m considering proposing to her. Should I do it at a fancy restaurant or next time we go on one of your quarterly camping trips?
(About the latter option: We have been going camping together every 3 months. It’s sort of a tradition we have. 🙂 )
Cheers!
–Glenn, 33 years old
Hi Glenn,
Wow, 5 years! That’s a really long time to be in a girlfriend. I’m getting the sense that your relationship is getting stale. You should dump her and find someone else. Let me know if you need a wingman–I’m great at licking peanut butter out of my own nostrils and I can incorrectly identify a Scottish Terrier from up to 30 feet away.
–Life Is Too Hard
Hi Life Is Too Hard,
I have a crush on a boy at my school. His name is Jared and he plays soccer during recess. I want to be friends with him, but I’m really shy. How can I talk to him?
–Stacie, 7 years old
Hi Stacie,
Sounds like Jared is way, waaaaaaay out of your league. Soccer players are basically drowning in chicks 24/7 and don’t have the time to deal with your bullshit. I’m sorry, but I don’t see any way things are going to ever work out between you and Jared. If I were you, I would prepare myself for a life full of misery, too many cats, and being alone forever.
–Life Is Too Hard
Hi Life Is Too Hard,
Recently, while talking to my girlfriend of 8 months about her bad hygiene, I discovered that she cheated on me with every one of my friends while I was on a business trip a few months ago. Now, whenever I try to talk with her about her infidelity, she gets really physically aggressive with me. She has also started going on shopping sprees that I can’t afford using my credit cards, and she’s openly admitted to committing several class A felonies. What should I do?
–Bob, 22 years old
Hi Bob,
Sounds like you two should probably sit down and try to work things out together. Good luck!
–Life Is Too Hard
What relationship advice have you given a friend in need? Feel free to share below! Or don’t, whatever.